See there are so many 'I's in it.I am full of myself.
And the very next moment, 'HE' (the unknown power,nature,God,energy........whatever you call it),makes me realize,I am a mear puppet.have been sent in this world to play my role and then bid adieu!!
Am little despondent today.A Japanese couple visited me a almost a month back.Full of questions and excitement.For them they had found the best gynecologist(their Landlord holds such an impression of me and I am thankful to them).And things were going fine till 2 nights before got a call in the middle of night.her water bag had broken and she was just 19 weeks pregnant.I wished to manage her conservatively and wait and see if luck favoured us to reach around 28 to 30 weeks at least.But that could have been risky.She might have developed chorioamnionitis(maternal infection).Baby might have delivered despite our best attempt much before 28 weeks and could have suffered major health issues for life if had survived.
I asked my neonatologist friends to talk to her and help her come to a difficult decision of continuing with pregnancy knowing all the risks(I had given then a RCOG leaflet regarding the same to read,which they read and read and read and cried and cried and cried.Here was their 'adroit Gynecologist' standing helpless.Of no help to them except to help them in whatever decision they took.
And finally after talking to 3 different neonatologist they decided to terminate the pregnancy.Thats what I did today.Or was rather made to do by him.
Couldn't help but remember the very famous scene from movie Anand between Dr Bhaskar and Anand saigal where Anand Saigal says Babu Moshai, we are mere puppets in the game of life and death. Whatever happens here, we do not know for it is all in the hands of the Almighty.