Saturday, May 5, 2012

Basic communication skills

If I come across a patient in my OPD how will I address that Person?Not by first name.......Ms/Mrs/Dr so and so.If later on a patient comes very frequently to me and becomes friendly ,may be then I am comfortable calling 'them by their first name but still using ' aap' rather than saying 'tum' because I wish to show my warmth but still as a professional I would like to maintain a slight distance,which should be between any doctor and patient.That is basic etiquette.Even in UK it is not acceptable to call your seniors by name unless they themselves ask you to call them by their first name.For me it has always been Mr Plemming,Mr Bickerton,Dr Bolton,Dr Clark ,Mr Banfield and so on.I am sure none of them would have appreciated me calling them by their first name.
I don't know the basic etiquette in USA as never have been there.
What made me write this post?Well,I think in Gurgaon the professionals try to ape the talking style of USA and UK.Start the conversation at first meeting with Dr Kaushiki or mam and by second meeting I find them calling me Kaushiki.....which I find strange and disrespectful,particularly if I haven't asked you to call me by my first name..I find it equally disrespectful when they talk about other Doctors by mentioning their first name like Girish,Anjali,Suman etc etc......If I am being formal to you I don't expect informality from you.
Yesterday I got a call.....Is that Kaushiki? I replied Dr Kaushiki here.Then she said Is that  kaushiki Dwivedee?
I replied back yes Dr Dwivedee here........She continued ok Kaushiki I am sheetal from HDFC .I asked her Do I know you?She said you had visited our branch................I had lost my cool by then........I told her politely and firmly...................I don't like being called kaushiki by strangers and of course as you must have guessed it correctly I never payed attention to what she had to say.    


Ruby Claire said...

Its not a big telling telling "Aap", insted of "Tum" . Because its a common thing and everyone knows that.

Sheila burnett


Dr Kaushiki Dwivedee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr Kaushiki Dwivedee said...

Very correct.....we Indians know that our culture and etiquette are different but still we breach those basic manners...that we should be respectful to elders or not call others by name but still it is a part of new 'lingo'.We all know 'aap' is respectful but still tend to call 'tu' and 'tum'. .....And yes it is no big deal,I am not telling any thing new....just sharing what me and most of my doctor friends don't like.......

Dr Kaushiki Dwivedee said...

I found the American etiquette and ways of greeting and found it to be no different from that of UK.It is as follows:
Honorifics and forms of addressIt is common in North America to use first names immediately upon meeting strangers (“Hi John–nice to meet you. I’m Clara.”), but such practices should not be followed in exceedingly formal circumstances as it is not correct etiquette.[11] When first introduced to someone, etiquette permits only relatives or children to be addressed using first names. Otherwise, one should address another as Mr. or Ms. [Lastname]. It is considered appropriate to ask to be addressed by one’s first name once a friendship is established (“Please call me Shirley”' in particular formal situations, such a request can be considered a great sign of trust and intimacy.)
While professional, academic, religious, military and political titles, such as “Judge”, “Colonel”, “Mayor”, “Reverend”, “Senator”, “Doctor”, “Professor”, etc., are often used in social situations, no offense should be taken by anyone when being referred to with the titles “Mr.”, “Ms.”, “Mrs.” and “Miss” in America, as the United States is in theory an egalitarian society, and other honorifics are not considered higher socially.
The stand-alone honorifics “sir” (for all gentlemen regardless of age), “miss” (for female children) or “ma'am" (for adult ladies) may be used for a person whose surname is unknown.[12] “Mister” should not be used on its own (as in, “excuse me, Mister”) as it may sound impolite or ignorant. “Young lady” or “young man” should only be used to address pre-adolescents, as these terms are usually taken as patronizing.
“Ms.” is considered the default title to be used in conjunction with any woman’s name regardless of marital status, unless she indicates another preference. Traditionally, the title “Miss” was reserved for use by unmarried women, and “Mrs.” for married women. Various combinations of titles, the woman’s given and family names, and/or those of her husband have become acceptable. Any person’s personal preference should be honored once it is made known.[13][14]
There are complicated rules regarding proper usage of political titles in the etiquette-related field known as protocol.
Bowing, genuflecting, or prostrating oneself toward another person is socially unacceptable in most circumstances. Doing so might offend others, especially if it appears to be done in mocking or to designate servitude. One exception is the bowing of dance partners to one another, although it may be pretentious to do so except on a formal occasion or when bowing is integrally linked to the music genre. Genuflection is usually reserved for a marriage proposal. Prostration is usually reserved for religious worship.