He has made me ambitious,restless and perhaps a go getter.So it transpires into diabetes,Hypertension and heart attacks in long run.Before I have sorted one agenda ,I am ready with a new target.A challenge for myself.A lack of patience makes me a figidity person while I am waiting for the target to be achieved.
So today my brother declared ,you have stagnated.Either be happy with the tag of a good doctor with nice practice or if you wish to reach a higher level become an educationist.God,,,,,that is difficult....For a doctor who has no support in GGN /Delhi.Did all the schooling.college and PG outside Delhi/NCR and has no standing amongst the local educationists, how do you intend to make that person an educationist?Go...Present in conferences.And my answer was....they won't let me deliver a guest lecture unless I know someone from the organising committee.You know that my networking skills are zero.Other option was to do real research have few publications on some topic and then no one can stop you from a guest lecture.And it all started with the Afghan president's wife delivering at another Gurgaon hospital and not under me despite me being a better Obstetrician an knowing my subject better than that person( I know it is a rather bold statement to make).I lacked the name of being an ex professor.As of now I am feeling very low at my self esteem.
I was told,I will be a good practitioner of average masses but should not think being a stalwart.Nothing wrong in that too,But then no doubt I need to spend time on research and academics.Soon my patients will me find out of GGN for a conference outside.Which is the next one BTW??
All said and done whether I manage to become a stalwart amongst doctors or not.......academics and research is what I am lacking in as I am too busy just doing my private practice,trying to just appease my patients by being present when they are delivering with no time for my personal growth and development.Dilemma!!